Girl Power

A coworker recently grabbed one of my tits at work. I'm fairly certain that he intended it as bro-style horseplay, but it was the first time I've ever shouted death threats in a crowded room. He saw me as a guy, and guys constantly bullshit with each other. When I reported the incident as sexual assault, my boss's initial shock of concern quickly lost it's edge. I was treated with respect, but it was clear that he understood the "sexual assault" I claimed as no more than a couple of dudes playing grab-ass.

As I continued to explain, there was a very definite moment of revelation in which he fully grasped the situation. In an instant, his view of me changed from a guy complaining about nothing into a girl with a potential lawsuit. I could feel complete control of the situation suddenly fall into my hands, and it happened the moment he acknowledge me as female.

My lawyer.

A lawsuit was in fact the farthest thing from my mind. I want to educate, not punish. I was focused on something entirely different; my employer had demonstrated to me that I now hold a new power: girls are protected. Generally, men are expected to defend themselves, while women are expected to need help. I'm aware that that statement is ridiculously sexist, but that doesn't mean it is invalid. Regardless of how accurate these assumptions are for any given person, the important point is that one's initially expected behavior is based on gender.

As a man, I have always been treated as competent by default. If I intend to portray myself as a strong-willed and self-sufficient woman, then I've got to earn those adjectives. Good or bad, that's just the way it is. And if I chose to, I could always just join the ranks of women who manipulate the impulse people have to protect them. I could be a witch.